2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14 If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living , or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble,

line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP  almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP…

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so…it is time to shutUP!

1.     The bandage was wound around the wound.

2.     The farm was used to produce produce.

3.     The dump was so full that it had to refuse morerefuse.

4.     We must polish the Polish furniture.

5.     He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6.     The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7.     Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

8.     A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9.     When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes

10.    I did not object to the object.

11.   The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12.    There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

13.    They were too close to the door to close it.

14.     The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15.      A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16.      To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17.      The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18.       Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19.         I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20.        How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Etapa a doua – « totul e bullshit.» E ca si cand te trezesti din betie. La etapa asta realizezi ca afara-i vopsit gardu’, inauntru-i leopardul. Mancarea, care mai sus o adorai, acum n-are nici un gust, vinetele, oricat de mult te-ai chinui sa le prepari, n-au gust desi sunt umflate cu pompa, rosiile au gust de cauciuc, porumbul fiert e prea dulce, chiar scarbos de dulce, painea e elastica, soselele care erau largi mai sus, se ingusteaza pentru ca acum ai ochi sa observi si traficul infernal. Aerul nu mai e atat de pur ca tocmai ai supravietuit unor cinci zile consecutive de smog si te declari fericit ca n-ai probleme cardiace. Vecinii care zambeau sunt niste inculti cu care nu poti schimba doua cuvinte. Parcurile nu le mai vezi atat de verzi pentru ca-s pline de disperati de viata care fac jogging dimineata si seara, de parca n-au nici o alta grija cotidiana. Iar prietenii din tara te intreaba ce-i avut in cap cand ai emigrat. La ei sunt 28C la umbra cand la tine sunt 4C iar vantul te doboara…, Costel e in fiecare weekend la Sinaia iar Angela tocmai si-a luat bilet trei saptamani la Neptun… Statistic vorbind, citeam pe undeva ca 60% din emigranti in momentele acestei etape se intorc acasa.

Etapa a treia – « viata e frumoasa si aici! » Dupa dusurile reci primite la etapa de mai sus, te trezesti si incepi sa vezi lumea cu alti ochi. Se instaleaza o rutina placuta. E etapa in care te ancorezi la lumea inconjuratoare. Citesti cu asiduitate presa lor, urmaresti stirile, programele de divertisment. Esti la curent cu toate evenimentele culturale. Mergi destins la cinematograf. Pastrezi inca legatura cu cei lasati dincolo, dar remarcile lor nu te mai ranesc. Angela continua sa mearga an de an la Neptun pe o plaja plina de manelisti si de scoici in care-ti tai talpile. Costel viziteaza si el aceeasi Sinaie mereu…insa tu mergi si descoperi locuri noi in fiecare zi, azi, maine si poimaine si tot asa. Ti-ai luat bilete sa serbezi Anul Nou pe plaja la Punta Cana…De fapt vecinii sunt foarte sociabili, la un BBQ se leaga atatea prietenii.Totul e sa vrei! Este etapa care de fapt iti aduce cele mai multe impliniri, daca ai fost destul de stoic sa rezisti pana aici.

Etapa patru – « aici e casa mea! » Asta e etapa implinirii depline pe meleagurile altadata straine si atat de ostile. Acum totul iti este familiar. Cunosti orasul ca pe propriul buzunar, adopti stilul de viata actual, dar ce-i mai important, nu mai faci comparatii. Nu mai ai regrete. Privesti spre viitor cu lumina si pace-n suflet.
De-acum esti de-al casei!

TAURUS – The Tramp
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

GEMINI – The Twin
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very Good at confusing people… Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

CANCER – The Beauty
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s Love is one of a kind.. Very romantic.. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!

LEO – The Lion
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun.. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

VIRGO – The One that Waits
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word.. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances.. Needs to have the last say in everything.. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only.

LIBRA – The Lame One
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with…you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.

SCORPIO – The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want.. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring..

SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found.. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

CAPRICORN – The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet.
Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini’s in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

AQUARIUS – Does It In The Water
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being in long-term relationships. Can be clumsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do.. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter but will Knock your lights out..

PISCES – The Partner for Life
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes gets the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.

* Inima este cel mai important organ genital al omului.
* Cu ajutorul cainelui Vitoria Lipan si-a gasit foarte repede zacamintele sotului.
* In 1877 trupelor rusesti li s-a permis sa traverseze teritoriul Romaniei, impreuna cu tancuri si avioane, iar romanii le-au dat mancare si cazare contracost.
* Vitoria Lipan plangea cu lacrimi la gasirea oaselor barbatului sau.
* Drumetii veneau la Hanul Ancutei pentru a minca si a bea vin din ulcicile noi ca alea vechi erau sparte!
* Un profesor intreaba o eleva: cine a scris poezia  “Luceafarul” la care ea spune Tudor Arghezi.
* Scoala Ardeleana nu a avut propriu-zis sediu, din lipsa de fonduri austro-ungare.
* Alexandru Lapusneanu s-a tinut de cuvint atunci cind a spus: de ma voi scula, pre multi am sa popesc si eu! Dovada ca azi cel mai intilnit nume este Popescu.
* Poezia  “Sburatorul” de Ion Has Radulescu este un omagiu adus aviatorilor romani.
* Mircea cel Batrin a fost inmormintat la Cozia impreuna cu umbra sa.
* In “Sobieschi si romanii” autorul descrie cum o mina de plaiesi au rezistat asediului perfid al puternicei armate din Iasi . In final, plaiesii, se predau in mod eroic, lasind cetatea neamtului.

* Desi s-a ocupat  mai mult cu turismul, Calistrat Hogas vorbea latina la perfectie.
* Dintre cele cinci scrisori trimise de Eminescu, prima este considerata a treia. In  “Scrisoarea a treia” se desfasoara batalia de la Rovinari.
* Mircea cel Mare, care prima data a fost batrin, sta la un discurs cu Baiazid. Acesta il primeste politicos, dar cu obraznicie, si-l face in tot felul, ca pe o albie de porci. Cind Baiazid il intreaba arogant “Tu esti Mircea?”, domnitorul roman nu se pierde cu firea si ii raspunde la fix: “Da-mparate!”
Pina la urma Mircea cel Mare, desi batrin il va ingenunchia pe trufasul otoman cu citeva proverbe si zicatori bine plasate.
* Imparati cu care  lumea nu putea sa se mai impace au venit si la noi in Romania si au cerut pamint si de baut, dar cum venira s-a lamurit cu cine are de-a face si s-a dus de-a berbeleacul cu pleava pulberata, c-au ramas doar citeva de bucati de eniceri si spahii fugind, dintre care este amintita  “inspre Dunare, o mina.”
* La a-2-a parte a subiectul cerinta este compunerea unei scrisori catre o persoana imaginara pe nume Paula.Un elev raspunde(in scris):”Eu nu mai scriu scrisori pt k am internet..si pe Paula nici nu o cunosc!”
* Detectiva buna, vitoria lipan a descoperit ca sotul ei a murit cu capul spintecat.
* Mihai Eminescu si-a intitulat poezia “Din valurile vremii…” vrand sa sugereze vremea si apoi nu a mai continuat titlul din nu stiu din ce motiv s-a razgandit si a inceput strofa I…
* Manole a pus-o pe Ana la zid si a inceput sa o lucreze…
* Poema “Miorita” circula pe baza orala, adica nu a fost scrisa, din motive tehnice. In balada ”Miorita” este vorba de trei ciobani care comploteaza impreuna sa-l omoare pe unul dintre ei. Ciobanul “Mioritei” a spus ca la cap sa-i puie diverse categorii de fluiere.
* Multimile de boieri exploatatori isi tineau banii numerar in pungi. Haiducii ii atacau si ii usurau de bani in toate baladele.
* Balada e o specie a liricii populare inventata de Ciprian  Porumbescu.
* Creierul este un organ oarecum indispensabil capului.
* Calin tine de mîna mireasa care are parul lung de fericire.Ea lupta sa puna mîna pe dragostea flacaului.
* Poetul îsi asteapta iubita ca împreuna sa cutremure o barca.
* Ion Creanga s-a nascut între anii 1887-1889.
* Nechifor Lipan a avut fericita ocazie de a nu se mai întoarce acasa fiind jefuit de niste oameni invidiosi.
* ÃŽn romanul “Rascoala” personajul principal este poporul si marea masa a taranilor.
* Dimitrie Cantemir a avut un rol însemnat în viata sa.
* Nechifor Lipan statea ” pe spate cu fatza in jos.
* Profa: In ce tip se incadra Otilia Marculescu?
Eleva: In tipul ingerului a fetei blonde.
Profa: Asta ai citit tu intr-o carte?
Eleva: Asta am spus-o eu din proprie initiativa
* Haiducii din doine, balade si idile erau liberi si fericiti ca pasarile, animalele si pestii care zburda prin codri. De cum venea primavara, haiducii cei harnici plecau in padure. Acolo ei cintau suflind din frunza si lasindu-i pe boieri cu buza umflata.
*Latina clasica este o limba moarta, care nu se poate vorbi decit in scris.Dupa caderea Imperiului roman, o parte din latina clasica defuncta a devenit bulgara…Limba romana are la baza latina bulgara, amestecata cu elemente de daca si o groaza de cuvinte slabe. In secolul al XV-lea, limba vorbita de popor era considerata vulgara si n-o vorbea nimeni.
* De ce se numeste nuvela “La tiganci”?
Raspuns : Localitatea in care se petrece actiunea este La tiganci.
*Profesorul : “Ce stil functional are acest text?”
Elevul: ” Stilul articol”
* Prof: cum moare Dinu Paturica?
Elev:…
Prof: A murit intr-un mod simbolic…
Elev:…
Prof(NERVOS): Haide, mai, baiatule, cum a murit?
Elev(SPERIAT): L-A CALCAT CARUTA!!!!
* Nichita Stanescu este un poet care se mira de orice. El se mira si de faptul ca oamenii aud si au urechi. Pai de ce? El n-a avut urechi? A vazut el vreun om fara urechi? Ma rog, da se zice ca asa este in poezie, sa te miri de toate si sa le pui pe toate unele subt altele, in rânduri scurte, ca sa se vada ca sunt versuri”;
* Basmul este o poveste mai lunga, poate fi chiar cât o carte groasa, si are atâtea personaje ca nu le mai tii numarul dar trebuie sa fii atent la fabula ca te intâlnesti cu ea si in final”;
* Basmul studiat de noi este Harap Alb si este un basm cult pentru ca este scris de un om cult, Eminescu. Atunci cand cel care  scrie basmul este incult si basmul este incult, adica opus basmului cult, dar amândoua basmele sunt frumoase, numai ca unul este scris intr-un fel si celalalt in alt fel”.
* ÃŽn cunoscuta baladă MioriÅ£a, sunt descrise câteva întâmplări în care sunt implicate doi criminali, o oaie turnătoare, ÅŸi un cioban care ÅŸochează prin prostia lui. (…)
* Toma AlimoÅŸ era viteaz pentru că cu o mână conducea calul, cu o mână îşi Å£inea maÅ£ele ÅŸi cu o mână se bătea cu Manea. (…)
* Inima este  împărÅ£ită în două atricule ÅŸi două testicule. (…)
* Zoe ÅŸi Tipătescu se iubeau pe la spate. (…)
* ÃŽmpăratul avea o grădină ÅŸi în fund un măr. (…)
* Moromete făcea pârtie pe salcâm ca să se dea cu sania.
* Eminescu este trist pentru că nu a reuşit să facă nimic  în viaţa lui.